Thanks Robert, your instructions still work in 2021 on Windows 10 and Mathematica 12.3.1
I am interested in this, has anyone found a solution for this?
Robert's solution works. You can create a bat file with the following content instead of running the script mannually on the remote (host) machine:
ipconfig | find "IPv4"
"C:\Program Files\Wolfram Research\Mathematica\12.3\math.exe" -mathlink -linkcreate -linkprotocol TCPIP -linkname "8000,8001"
it will also show you the IP address you need to enter in the local (client) machine kernel configuration ;)